Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Aranho on 7th April 2010, 21:53

Of course I don't like to be caned when I was young, but as I grew older, I will appreciate why I was caned. But if the parent over-cane up to the point where it becomes a case of child abuse, then that's serious. However, child abuse is not common in Singapore.

In my opinion, caning whether in home, school and prison is not torture. But after all, I'm an Asian where caning is a part of life. In other countries, caning may be a taboo so I'm not surprise if you guys are against caning. Smile
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Blakeway4 on 7th April 2010, 22:04

caning isn't torture, I agree. I considare it as a painful and not necessary violent way to educate children.
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Neil on 7th April 2010, 22:09

I was never caned when I was younger, although if i stepped out of line badly my mum or dad would 'reward' me with a smack to the bottom - not even enough to leave a mark for longer than a few minutes but it certainly worked.
They stopped doing this around the age of nine when I had wised the bap.


I do not hold my parents in contempt for this at all, in fact i am glad they actually disciplined me.
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Thomas on 7th April 2010, 22:25

Discipline is certainly needed - but the problem in my country is that many parents are too scared to venture near the line, and their children grow up without any control or order in their homes. They become uncontrollable and selfish, self-centred horrible people.

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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Blakeway4 on 7th April 2010, 22:28

LOL, so violence is the awnser against violence? here we use verbal. Verbal is the clue. The correction is simply: "you won't have a PS3 once you'll have good grades!" or "You won't get out with that older boy you little girl once you'll do what I told you and after we'll see!"
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Neil on 7th April 2010, 22:55

Yes, but physical punishment is a step above when verbal 'telling off' isn't enough or doesn't work.

E.g. Mum - "come here Neil, i am not buying you a 52" 3D with surrond sound" Neil "No, i dont wanna" (throws tantrum).

Would you give in and tell me that you will buy me it if i'm quiet and good for a period of time OR would you give me a light smack on the bum, which whilst not causing me any physical harm is enough to send a message I am behaving inappropriately and need to obey mummy when she first says Cheeky/Razz Cheeky/Razz Cheeky/Razz
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Blakeway4 on 7th April 2010, 23:40

When verbal isn't enough, you lock the door. Laugh When you start punishing phisically someone, he'll became more violent. When someone punch you in your face because you insult him after he insult you. What's your reaction? Ok, feeling great. No, you'll fight him, beeing agressive and it's normal. So, If that doesn't work, you call DPJ, they'll help you, that's their job. (Quebec situation)! Laugh
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Thomas on 8th April 2010, 10:16

Not punching or anything - a wooden spoon or a slap on the bum here.
But that's generally when you're younger.

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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Daniel on 8th April 2010, 10:47

I have Italian heritage. I remember being chased through the house with a wooden spoon on more than one occasion. I can count the number of times I was spanked on one hand and still have enough fingers left to open a can.

I personally do believe in spanking, but I draw the line at using something like a belt or a cane. It's just not called or and is, frankly, dangerous. It can scar, bruise, cut or even break bones. That's not discipline, it's assault.

I don't agree with the bleeding-hearts approach as it leaves children with poorly defined boundaries. However, going the other way and being too authoritarian is the best way to raise a rebel who will despise you and any authority and will actually enjoy breaking the rules, just to show you that they can.
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Thomas on 8th April 2010, 11:16

I completely agree with you Dan - in Britain today, people are so scared that they will be looked down on because they discipline children. It's a terrible cycle, since those very children grow up reckless and never discipline their illegitimate and unwanted children that they have aged 16.

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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Neil on 8th April 2010, 12:54

Yes, a number of my friends were never told no, never mind disciplined. I find they are the more immature out of my friends and suffer a real lack of initiative.

One of my friends (well, more an acquaintance) phones his ma in pubic and demands her to go buy him things. One particular thing that really bothered me was waiting to get home after a nightout and he phoned his mum, made her get of bed and drive half an hour to give all of us a lift - because he didnt want to wait 40 minutes for a taxi...
If i did that, even as a joke, my jaw would be broke. Wink
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Blakeway4 on 8th April 2010, 13:05

My mom would do that for my sis, for my part, I never ask that to my parents and my dad is always to my mom when my sister ask them that: "Geez, not again... Go yourself, I'm rid of that." LOL I translate this with english expressions since it was in French Quebecer. My sister is a mess in orientation, always ask me to do her a google map. I always say, cmon it's just there, try to explain witouth google map, she always say: "Let's go Julien, I'm late!" I couldn't never understand the female world. Lost in advance!
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Daniel on 8th April 2010, 13:16

I've been having a similar problem with Ryan. His mum is a real nutjob, who never really cared where he was or what he was doing. His father is largely absent. His mum's boyfriend was a complete jerk. He never hit him, but he yelled, swore and was an overall pig. When Ryan arrived, he was sullen, depressed and frightened. He didn't really have any sense of boundaries.

The difficulty has been with giving him boundaries without stifling him. I never yell at him and he's intelligent enough that most things can be talked through. However, there has been a couple of occasions when he's pushed me right over the line and his butt has been sorer for it.
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Blakeway4 on 8th April 2010, 13:20

Sad... but he wouldn't necessarely been not depressed or more if he had been caned or punished!

Wow this is my 1401th post Laugh grow up too fast LOL
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Daniel on 8th April 2010, 13:33

Oh, don't get me wrong - I only use my hand and it's never more than a couple of firm smacks, but it brings him back down to Earth in a hurry. In all, I've only had to do it twice. The last time was over a month ago. As I say, we talk about everything and it's only when he pushed the issue or copped an attitude that I've had to take him over my knee.

He's actually improved dramatically, especially in the last month. He's settled in and he knows where the line is. I should point out that the line is a fair way off. I'm not overly strict with him. I've basically made the point that the boundaries are about making sure he's safe. He's generally a really good kid who just had a bad time of it at home and now he's been able to come out of his shell without there being any danger of him running wild.
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Thomas on 8th April 2010, 14:08

Yeh, another issue is that there is a need for discipline AND responsibility - if you give children more responsibility, they should be more disciplined and mature. It's getting the right balance of them both.
Anyway, we've gone slightly off-topic. Cheeky/Razz

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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Daniel on 8th April 2010, 14:27

We have a bit. I think it's a contentious issue, but it needed to be addressed. I think any educational policy should not include corporal punishment.
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Re: Disapproved | Leave No Child Behind

Post by Aranho on 19th April 2010, 17:26

After weeks of intense debate, discussion of the LNCB is now close.

The LNCB will be put on a union-wide vote in a while time.
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